The Last Blog. . .What it comes down to

As we bring Season 4 of Tantalizing Tuesdays to a close. I want to end with a thought. A question, really. That puts everything into focus.

When your kids are full-grown,

will they want the same type of marriage they grew up seeing?


The brutal truth is, there is a direct tie between the quality of your relationships and the future quality of your children’s. Your kids didn’t choose to come into this world. They had no say in whom their parents would be. Nor do they get to select the type of marriage their mom and dad would have. That is all up to you. And to me. It’s easy to forget, but what a child learns is more caught than taught. The best thing you could ever do for your kids is to put your marriage first. For the marriage is the foundation upon which the rest of the home grows; freeing your kids from the stress and worry of whether mom and dad will stay together. So choose to put in the hard work of tantalzing your relationships. Not just for your own sake, but for the wellness of your children and grandchildren. You are a history maker. You are building the legacy of your family whether you want to or not.

Till the leaves begin to fall again,

Your friend,


How Wells Fargo Saves Your Marriage

There is something that all banks do.  And it’s the key to saving your marriage.

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I really like my bank.  Call me strange, but I have over ten savings accounts.  Yea, I know.  Here comes the nerd.  One of the things I love is that they all basically work the same.

You put money in.  You take money out.

Deposits and withdrawals.

As long as you put more money in than you take out, all is well.

And to insure that I’m well informed, my bank does something extremely helpful.  Every month, regardless of whether I asked for it or not, Wells Fargo sends me a bank statement.  Simply, the status report of my account; letting me know where I stand in my “bank relationship.”

Piggy Bank and Red Heart

Human relationships work just the same.  Each one has its own emotional bank account.

The question is are you making deposits?  Or are you just withdrawing?  Are you taking out more than you put in?  Or is your relationship overflowing with abundance?

Relationships with more withdrawals than deposits go bankrupt.  So how is your love account?  Is it full or is it constantly running on empty?  Are you a giver or just a taker?  Is your relationship about what the other person can do for you, or about what you do for the other person?

Just like your finances, if you spend more than you save, you find yourself in the chaos of emotional debt.  Stay there too long and you’ll go bankrupt.

Here’s where the bank statement comes in.

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To keep your marriage from falling into a mess you need to have a relational statement that lets you know where you stand.  If you don’t, you may go bankrupt without realizing what happened.

Or you could build marital wealth that lasts your whole life.  It’s up to you.


Every month plan a short time to discuss your relationship.  This is not an occasion to slam the other person with criticisms.  It’s about learning how to better love each other.

Step One.  Every month, schedule a half-hour meeting.

Step Two.  Ask each other the following.  And be gentle.  This isn’t a boxing match.

1.  What are the 3 things I’m doing really well; the things you want me to do more of?

2.  What is the one thing I could do differently?

Over time you will become experts at making each other happy.  Don’t get discouraged though; it won’t get fixed on the first try.  But with one small deposit at a time you can build wealth.