Filed under: Uncategorized
**Note: this blog was written Jan 25, but being in India sometimes it was hard to find internet. So here it is now. Enjoy.
As we flew over the city of Chennai last night I saw one of the most beautiful sights I’ve ever seen. Across the horizon was a burst of red, orange, yellow and blue fading into the darkness of the black sky. The only thought that came to my mind was, “Geez what a gift.”
Shortly after me and my friend Caleb landed in Bangalore, India we were taken to a hotel downtown where his sister in-law works; which is great reminder that it’s all about who you know! (Can you say “Heck Yes!” for family discounts?) After checking out Bangalore a little bit we went to bed and enjoyed a luscious night’s sleep, for we had some very important meetings the next day.
The difference between Chennai and Bangalore is like the difference between a dog and a whale. VERY. DIFFERENT. Chennai is particularly dirty, unorganized and has much pollution, while Bangalore almost feels like a city back in the states. As we were walking down the streets Caleb explained to me that the reason Bangalore is so much more modern and advanced is because of all the Christians Missionaries that came and set up Schools all across the city. “This is why,” he explained, “Everything I do is based on educating the children in Chennai.” A very interesting point.
You ever wonder what the meaning of life is? Well today I think I found it. In the midst of A LOT of oil and incense I discovered great truths in a place and time I least expected it.
After a great meeting with a man who calls himself the “Rock Priest” we had some time between our next appointment. It may be in these moments that you do the most interesting things. Some where in the discussion of ‘What shall we do next?” came about the idea of getting a full body message…’cause you know…their awesome!
So here I am lying on a message table in India as this man (yea I know…wasn’t too thrilled about that) was giving me a message. As I’m lying there this question came upon me: “Why am I getting a message? Why do we pay good money to have this luxury?” The answer is quite simple. We get a message because it feels good. There is almost nothing more enjoyable!
But within this simple answer there is a deep truth about the reality of our existence. There are so many nerves and muscles throughout the human body that’s only purpose is to experience pleasure. In fact, our bodies are not really designed for survival; they are designed in a way that contradicts the very logic of “survival of the fittest.” This brings out a lot of questions about where we come from and what our purpose is.
Take for example how helpless a little baby is. There is no creature in the entire earth that is as helpless as a human baby. Scientists tell us that if a baby is not touched and held enough it will actually die. Basically, if you want a baby to survive you MUST love it and care for it.
We are literally not humans if we are not in relationship with another human. The fact that so much of are bodies are designed for the sole purpose of pleasure leads to the conclusion that we are meant for relationships.
So there is purpose in life.
Just make sure you know the right purpose.
Without this understanding you will never experience real life.
Filed under: Uncategorized
As many of you know I’m in India right now meeting with my new friend Caleb, who lives in Chennai, to set up logistics for a Gordon Avenue Tour. The experience has been just that; an experience.
The first part of the Journey was quite an adventure. After a 16 hour flight and 36 hours of total travel we finally arrived at the airport in Chennai, India on a total of 3 hours sleep. The first thing that I noticed about India was the smell. Anthropologist tell us that the most powerful tool of communication in all cultures is ‘Ol Factory—the sense of smell—that it tells a story. And it certainly does. I’m not talking about the smell of pollution, which is every where, but a much more deeply engrained smell; something I can’t describe.
The second thing that I noticed was the driving and the traffic. HOLY. COW.
This is like NOTHING you have ever seen. There is no place in all of America that even remotely relates to what traffic is like here. You know those nice dotted white lines that make up our lanes? Yea those mean nothing in India. Oh they have them, but no one uses them! It’s one big free for all.
Yesterday one of the villagers from the Leper Colony that we were at took me on a motorcycle ride; and Holy Smokers was that a bundle of fun and “oh crap I’m gonna die!” Here we are driving down the road, weaving in and out of traffic like a crazy boy in a go-cart at Bullwinkle’s, and Amul decides that he wants to pass a bus. Here’s the problem; the street is about the same size as 1 of our lanes, traffic is going both ways, and thousands of people are on both sides walking. But for Amul there is no problem. He passes the bus just as another huge bus is coming the other direction, missing both busses by inches! And this is a typical day on the road.
In the midst of all this craziness I have grasped a truth that I shall never forget.
We are all the same.
Yes we have very different cultures; different ways of doing things, very different views of the world, different beliefs, but there are some things deep in our core that match up exactly. This truth hit me a few days ago when I was visiting a village just out of the city of Chennai. I was meeting all the little kids there and I noticed that after I would shake the little girls’ hands and tell them my name, they would quickly huddle together and start giggling. And I thought, “Oh my gosh! This is exactly the way girls act back home!”
It was small. It was simple. But it got me asking this question: In what ways are we all the same? I don’t know all the answers. Maybe you know, but I think that it’s an important question to ask. When we keep this inquiry in the back of our minds it changes the way that we treat people. Instead of focusing on the ways in which we are different, focus on ways we are the same; and you will find that you can connect with every person you come in contact with.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: dreams, Gordon Avenue, gordon avery, passions, portland, portland airport
So I’m sitting at the airport in Portland waiting for our first flight to San Francisco and I can’t help it. I like to look at people. Airports are probably the most amazing place to “people watch,” because of diversity of unique individuals found here. As person by person comes in and out of my scopes I start to wonder, “I wonder what that person’s story is?”
Imagine what incredible stories there are all around you. Sometimes it’s the people that you walk by every day, never thinking twice about them, that have lived an adventure you could only dream of.
We all have dreams. We all have passions. Even if they have been squashed down, beaten beyond recognition, they are there. If you search hard enough, there you will find them, sitting in the depths of the soul just waiting to released. Here is where the deepest part of a person lies. In their dreams, their passions.
I was reminded of this yesterday.
I was sitting in my daily coffee shop sending out emails and one of the barista’s walked in. Here is a girl that I have never really spent a lot of time talking to, but I thought I would give it a chance. As I told her about my plans for going to India, something happened that I least expected. She opened up.
Now, to be real honest, I thought that I had this girl figured out. I had neatly placed her within my precisely organized “type of person” bin within my head, and left it at that. No need to dig deeper; I was confident…I know who she is.
But my theories deteriorated with a bang. For the next 20 minutes as she shared about how she and a friend started a non-profit organization for helping homeless people and how her heart breaks every time she thinks about the people hurting in 3rd world countries, a glow illuminated from her face. This was who she was. This was her passion, her dream.
If you really want to know who a person is, then take some time and listen to their dreams. What are the things that they really care about? Not things on the surface like video games, clothes, movies, and so forth, something deeper. Until you know those things about a person, you do not really know them.
It is possible to “know” someone your entire life and never KNOW them.
So try it sometime. Ask someone what they are passionate about. Feel the warmth of the glow that radiates off of them and experience the adventure of witnessing the depths of their being.
Maybe this means that you don’t even know who you are.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: failure, formula for success, Gordon Avenue, gordon avery, meadwo, success
Here I am standing in front a group of 10 Junior Highers with a look of complete shock, amazement, and straight up confusion on their faces. Oh this is fantastic! I knew that I had completely “rocked their worlds” and that at this very moment they were more baffled than the first time they saw an Algebraic equation. Highly enjoying the moment I repeated my sentence.
This was my team; the Meadow Glade Elementary School Mustangs and season was about to start. I remember when I was 7th grade and I got to play on my first basketball team; it was like a dream come true. Yet there was a fear that came with it as well. With all your family and that cute girl in 8th grade there to watch you play, you have one dominating thought, “Just don’t suck it up!”
Years later the tables have turned and now I’m the one in charge. So what do I tell these kids? I looked all of them in the eyes and said,
“You know what all of you need to do? I need every single one of you to Fail a lot more!” The phrase hit them like a bus filled with cement; the last thing they ever expected their coach of high standards to announce. So I said it again, “I need you to Fail.”
What? You want me to fail? Yes.
We all want to be successful. We all want to shine at whatever it is that we are passionate about. No wants to fail. But guess what…if you don’t fail, it is impossible for you to do something great. Failure is the way to success.
In high school I was so scared of failing, of not being great, that I never became the basketball player that I could have been. If I made one mistake on the floor I would get on my self so hard that it would mess the rest of my game up.
I went on to explain to these kids that they needed to fail more or they would never grow. I told them, “If you are on the left side of the basket I want you to shoot a left hand layup. I don’t care if you miss it. If you miss it, that’s great; you just failed in the right way. That’s the only way you’ll be successful at the left hand layup.”
So the question is: how often am I failing? Go ahead and have a conversation with the history of Abraham Lincoln and then ask yourself again. The different between the Greats and the Mediocre is not whether they fail or not, it’s what they did when they failed. But first, you have to fail.
Remember this: The only Formula for Success is Failure.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Battle of the Bands, Gordon Avenue, gordon avery, gossip, killer, portland band, soul
First off I want to thank everyone who cam out and supported us at the Battle of the Bands 2 days ago. It really was the best crowd we have ever experienced. At times it seemed as if all of you were a choir, because of the mass volume produced by your beautiful voices!
It’s always interesting to write a song and then be singing it 7 years later, which is the case with some of the songs we sang last night. Songs like “One Girl One Day” took an 8 year journey to get to where it is today.
As I was thinking about this voyage a particular song came into the eye of my memory. The arrangement of music and lyrics, melody and rhythm, has never been quite finished; but as we continue to put the finishing touches on this piece of art it makes me think of the reason it was written in the first place.
In an earlier blog I mentioned how I hated Gossip; there is a good reason why. You see… I’ve witnessed it. I’ve seen the damage, the ugly blackness produced by the seemingly “nontoxic” words as it pierces the heart of the victim. We think Gossip is harmless, but it is not. How do I know? How about this: when I was in High School two of my dear friends nearly committed suicide because of it. I’ve seen the effects of this poison and it breaks my heart.
Thus a song was born. It is called Soul Killer.
It may be some of the most intense lyrics I’ve ever written, but I think that it might be valuable to share them. Maybe you’ve experienced it yourself.
Do you enjoy taking hearts and griping and ripping them in two?
And taking them down and breaking them round until their black and blue?
g>Spreading rumors and lies as they fly by the ears of the room
BOOM! There goes yours lie’s fume taking hearts to the tomb
You call yourself a friend but in the end your trends tend to blend
And send a message of a backstabbing, soul killing, so called friend
You better stop mocking, killing souls with the way you’re talking
I’m wanting to x-ray your heart so you can see it rotting
Do you enjoy taking hearts and gripping them with your grimy hands?
And ripping them in two and watch the blood drip off your hands?
Watch your step for blood pools spilled by all the souls
That you killed with your words your tongue fills hearts full with bullet holes
Don’t you listen to them
Don’t let them get you down
Cause they’re jealous of you
And this love that you found
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: change, club, fitness, Gordon Avenue, gordon avery, portland band
So yesterday morning as my dad and I drove up to our fitness club that we have been apart of for nearly a decade something was very different. I mean not just something…EVERYTHING! New lights, new paint job, new floor, new arrangement of equipment. I felt like I had never been there before. And that’s when I started getting that feeling. I think that many of us have experience this before.
I started getting frustrated. I didn’t really like the paint job or the new lights. They were too bright and I liked the old ones! Then we went into the locker room…and no…they didn’t….the new lockers were half the size as the old ones! Oh no!
This thought came into my mind as I was having my a little pity party for myself:
If you are not willing to change you will die.
Ok maybe not physically, but in every other area of life. We get so stuck in our ways because they are comfortable. If we stay in one environment too long we can easily become blind to what it really is. This is why there are so many companies that are not relevant to the times…and have no idea that they’re not. This is why many relationships become apathetic.
You can not drift into Excellence.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: anger, gordon, Gordon Avenue, gordon avery, I'm sorry, Thank you, ungrateful
If you want to get under my skin, irritate me to the core, and possible make this typically calm engine roaring with anger…do this one thing: Be an Ungrateful Person.
Now that I’ve said it, I have to first look at the one in the mirror and ask: am I a grateful person? Before we can go off on those “horrible other people” its always wise to first look at yourself and admit if you are to blame. And yes I am.
There have been so many times that I am ungrateful for everything that I have. I’m never satisfied. Instead of being grateful for what I do have, I strain for something “better” with the assumption that if I could “just get _____” then I would be happy.
It is all an illusion. Here is the fact:
You will never be happy with something, until you are happy without it.
An ungrateful person always drains and never fills up; always takes and never gives. An ungrateful person is full of excuses. An ungrateful person is never wrong; it’s never their fault.
Here is a quick test, if you’re willing to be honest. When things don’t turn out the way you want them to, do you find yourself quickly blaming someone else? Do you say the words “Thank You” on a daily bases? Or here is a tough one…when was the last time you said, “I’m sorry” and meant it?
If you want to be a Grateful person then you HAVE to actually be THANKFUL for what you do have. If you can not get to this place you will be a drain on others. That’s not what I want to be and I don’t think you want that as well.
Filed under: Uncategorized
You ever play the game Telephone as a kid? It always amazed me how a simple statement like “I like Apples” could quickly turn into “last night I rode a zebra over a cloud of pancakes!”
Here I’m standing at the counter of one of my favorite coffee shops talking with the barista’s and it starts happening. You’ve been there before, when one person speaks those famous words, “Hey did you hear about so and so..?” After a few minutes of this I said, “First off you don’t know if that’s true and I don’t think we should be gossiping about her.”
The barista looked back at me and stated boldly, “I’m not gossiping, it’s all true.”
Ok stop. Now this whole topic of gossip is not one that we really want to confront or talk about, because we all love doing it so much. If we were to be honest, we love gossip because it makes us feel better at about ourselves.
But here is what I want to get at. Everyone says that they don’t gossip, because of one reason: its not gossip if what I’m saying is true.
This is where my opinion may create dissonance with your tightly held belief. Whenever you reveal something about someone else the question to ask is not, “Is what I’m saying true?” but instead “Is this something that I should be sharing?” The reality is that most gossip starts out as the “truth,” but it never stays that way.
There are lots of things that are true, but not a lot of things you should share. Eventually it will turn into an untrue statement. Remember the Telephone game.
I guess the most important thing to ask is, “Why? Why do I feel the need to reveal this information?”
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: college, emotional, health, love, marriage counselor, opposites attract, physical health
Have you ever noticed it? I started noticing it when I was in college. The days of spring would start, and as couples started popping up like daisies, I saw a commonality in these spring flowers of love….maybe you’ve noticed it too.
I swear that we marry people that look just like us. I mean not exactly, but very close. If you look at a married couple I promise they could be brother and sister, just based on how they look! Though it is a funny observation, I think that it sheds light on a deeper truth.
You will be attracted to people who are at the same level as you. This goes way beyond physical. I’m talking about emotionally. The person you choose to have a deeper relationship with is like a mirror. Look and what you will see is where you’re are at yourself. A really unhealthy person emotionally doesn’t typically get together with an emotionally healthy person.
The first time I heard this, even though it was from a Marriage Counselor with a great record, I wasn’t convinced. To be honest, it was more like I didn’t want to be convinced. Because if this was true, then I wasn’t as healthy as I thought I was.
But I promise you it is so true. I have seen it time and time again with my friends, especially with girls. Girls who don’t have a good self-esteem typically get together with guys who don’t think so highly of themselves either. Now it may seem like these guys think quite a bit about themselves, but it’s all a cover up. A guy who hits a girl never has a high sense of self-worth.
So take a serious look at who you are attracted to and ask yourself, what does that say about me? It takes courage. As soon as I did that, I knew. I knew that there where things that I needed to work on emotionally and spiritually before I got into another relationship.
It’s a hard truth to swallow, but it could save your life.
If you want to have great healthy relationships, first get healthy yourself.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: drugs, friends, hit and run, Its your life, parents
There is a deep sadness inside of me when I look at many of my friends. There is nothing worse than watching someone you care about completely destroy their life. Especially when there is nothing you can do! I am not a parent, but I can not imagine the pain of watching one of your kids annihilate themselves with horrible choices. I read an ancient proverb the other day that said,
“A wise child brings joy to a father; a foolish child brings grief to a mother.”
Geez. It makes me think about my own life. How many horrible choices have I made that brought grief to my parents? This question has been brewing in my mind as I watch the results of many of my friend’s actions. After much thought I’ve come to a realization…and its something that I used to think wasn’t true.
There is this myth out there that says “My Choices” are completely mine and “I have a right to do whatever I want to do, because it’s MY Life.” The reason we all believe this is because we truly believe that My Choices only affect ME. You know what I’ve realized?
When ever I make a choice, I’m making that choice for every one around me. I am making a choice for my family and my friends. They don’t have any choice in the matter! Think about this for a second…
If you decide—for example—to do drugs… now every single person around you has to deal with the decision that “you” made. Even if you isolated yourself from society, in the illusion that “your choice” is only affecting you, now life for anyone that cares an iota about you sucks! They now have to deal with the fact that someone they love is destroying themselves.
This is so contrary what we are taught. We are told, “It’s your life, do what you want.” The thought that I was essentially making decisions for everyone around me never drifted upon any of my thoughts growing up. I have made some really dumb choices—like the time committed a “hit and run” with my car—and I never thought how much that decision sucked for everyone around me!
Here is the cool thing though. Yes, my bad decisions affect those around me, but so do the great choices I make! Whenever you make a really good choice you are unintentionally blessing everyone in your path; those in you’re little bubble so to say.
Again, this truth really sucks, because now I can’t just make decisions under the illusion that they only affect me. Do I want to make my friend’s lives suck? Then I better start making bad choices. =)
