As we delighted in the delicious meal before us we started sharing stories about bad relationships and signs that we should have seen before jumping into the water. As the conversation infused with many laughs and shocked expressions I thought about the idea of Red Flags; warning signs that should stop us in our tracks.
When it comes to relationships we have the tendency to take a blind dive into them like an over-caffeinated junior higher. What if there were Red Flags that we could look for when considering whether to invest in a relationship with someone? It could potentially save us a ton of wasted time and heartbreak.
Here are a few that I’ve learned.
1. Their friends are sketchy disgusting sleaze-bags
One of my good friends told me a story about a guy she dated for quite a long time that ended up cheating on her in many different “sleazy” ways. Finishing the story she thought out loud, “I always wondered why all of his friends were these disgusting sleezy guys. Well now I know…it’s because he was one too!”
The principle here is not just for ladies, but for the guys as well. If you want a really clear look at who you might be dating, take a look at their friends. That’s who you are dating. His or her friends are not trying to impress you. So before you jump in head first, look at whom they surround themselves with. If it ain’t good…run away. Don’t be fooled.
2. They think ever going to counseling is Stupid.
This goes for both the fellas and the ladies. If you want a HUGE insight into what you relationship could be like way down the road, bring up the subject of counseling or therapy and see their reaction. People that think “getting help” is for the weak or have this false sense of “not needing anyone” don’t have great relationship records. Chances are that they are bitter and have never resolved issues that they don’t even know about. Lets be honest, we all have baggage, and the more honest we are about the baggage we carry the better chance of healing.
Another great way to discover this is to invite the person to read a book like “The 5 Love Languages” with you (Which by the way is an unbelievable life changing book). If there is any willingness to look at it at all, it’s a good sign. If they say something along the lines of “reading this book, or anything like it, would be as stupid and pointless as jumping off a cliff” you should probably walk away.
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