Love is one of those crazy, unpredictable, unchained to systematic and lifeless empirical approaches … type of things. So when someone starts talking about steps to fall in love, it’s easy to roll the eyes and walk away. Love is most definitely something you can’t explain. But how two people find themselves falling in love … well, that’s a little different.
Though love is unexplainable in itself, the way to get there is a little clearer. Throughout the years there have been many relationship experts, counselors, and authors who have noticed similar patterns. Today, I would like to share a few simple steps.
But before I do, I want to reveal why I’m sharing. It all starts with a question: Can a man and a woman truly be just friends? I do believe that it is possible for I have seen it with my own eyes. But let me tell you, it is very rare. It is uncommon that a man and woman stay ‘just friends’ in a way that is healthy and honorable. When it comes to friendship between a guy and gal one of the two will undeniably develop feelings for the other person. How does this happen?
I heard someone say the other day that you can’t help who you like. It sounds wonderful and true, but is actually very naïve. We better hope that we can. It’s all about boundaries, healthy ones. It’s easy to shutter when we think of boundaries, but in actuality they are wonderful. A boundary simply protects what you care about. Like a gate it lets good things in and the bad things out. There is a reason you have a lock on your house door.
I have learned these steps, unfortunately, too late in my career. There are countless friendships that I hurt because I didn’t understand what I was doing. So without further ado, let me give you a few steps to falling in love.
Step 1: Spend lots of alone time with each other.
This is the starting point to getting those crazy feelings. The more you spend time one on one the closer you will get to falling. This one has happened to me many many times. Thinking that I could somehow beat this step I have found myself in that “Oh shoot, I didn’t mean to give you the wrong idea” situation many times.
Step 2: Share your deeper feelings with each other.
Falling in love is all about showing someone the deeper side of you, trusting that person to accept you, even with all your faults. This is a beautiful thing…when you are ready for a life long commitment…and it’s the right person.
If you combine these two steps you will find that one, if not both, of you will start developing feelings that you never expected. This is how it works. Don’t be like me and think that you can beat the system…you can’t. Well maybe one of you can, but eventually one of you will start feeling those butterfly’s. This can be good, if it’s the right timing and person. But its also how almost every affair starts.
Alone time is a powerful thing. Use it wisely.
P.S. I wrote a song with my band about this. Check it out here: HEART STRINGS
Most of the time we don’t realize what’s happening. And suddenly, BAM. You don’t know when why or how, but there you are. You realize that no matter how much you don’t have in common with someone, how much their little annoying habits get on your nerves, how much they were not what you had in mind, you are absolutely madly in love with them. Emphasis on the MADLY.
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