Marriage in Zombie Land: Weapon of Choice

You used to wake up next to a Lover.

Now you share a house with a Roommate.

Zombie Land

There are so many people I know that relate to this story.  What once was a passionate love affair with their husband or wife has drifted into a comfortable roommate situation.  Passion has been replaced with safe routine and love swapped with plastic niceness.   How does this happen?

The hard thing about the roommate syndrome is that, in a large part, it is created by things that are good.  Good, but not Great.  No one wakes up one morning and declares, “Today I will turn our marriage into a roommate situation.”  You can not choose to feel apathy.  What you can choose is to settle for what’s O.K. instead of fighting for what’s best, and one day wake up as roommate.  Or worse…a zombie.

Is there a way to keep your marriage sizzling and alive?

My parents have been married for over 35 years.  By this point, most couples have become comfortable and “choreographed;” going years without any spark of romance.  But still being together and not fighting too much, they take it as a sign that this is as good as it gets.  Not my parents.

Before you come into the house…you better knock.

They still laugh together, they cuddle, and they play really hard.  It is a marriage that continues to grow daily and inspires everyone around them.  So wanting to learn the secret myself I sat down with them and asked for some insight into what keeps them from Zombie Mode.  I was shocked and simply excited at the response.

The first key is to make an effort, no matter how “busy” you are, to continue dating.  Pick a time every week to go on a date.  This does not have to be some grandeur event.  A simple lunch for an hour is still good.  But this is simply the Prologue to the Masterpiece.

If you really want to keep your marriage sizzling and alive you need to pack your bags.  Both my parents would go on an over-night date once every quarter.  Again this does not need to be some overly expensive or long lasting event.  The point is to get away from the normal routine of your weeks and go someplace outside of your home for a night.  It is during these dates that my parents would go on adventures and do a tune-up on how they were doing in their marriage.

So if you want to keep the marriage right, try a quarterly over-night date.

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