Ladies…How to Marry a Man instead of a Boy

There is something in all guys that creates a desire to conquer something. We all want to be a Hero of some sorts; to be looked at with respect and approval that when it comes down to it…we got the “man-power” it takes. Now before you start 21’st-centurying me up with the thought that I’m only talking about guys who like sports, hunting, or violence in general; hold your ponies for a second.

Beat the opponent, dominate the inexhaustible World of Warcraft, win the” battle of the bands” competition, make the most money, know more than the other guy, climb the mountain the fastest, paint the best painting, lift the most weights, thump your buddies at Madden, obtain the sweetest ride, become the definition of sexy, obtain the highest S.A.T score, write the best book, and win the heart of the beauty. All of us guys, no matter what age or interest, want this more than anything. To be a Conqueror. Why?

I’m not sure why. But it is the way that we are built. We desperately know that we were meant to “come through” in the end. We want to be known as having what it takes to when it comes down to it. This ladies, is one of the most important things to understand about guys.

And here is lies difference between a woman marrying a Man or a Boy.

Ladies…if the guy you marry never had to pursue you he will always have a form of contempt for you; though he will most likely never know why. He may even not realize that he does. But deep inside him he will know that something is wrong.

And after the relief of “not being alone” goes away you will realize that something is still missing; something deeply essential to the relationship.

The greatest thing a woman can do for a man is to let him pursue her. And not just “let,” but encourage it. When this takes place a woman is literally inviting a guy to rise up and be a man. As strange as it may seem, in a way you are telling a man, by forcing to him to pursue you that he has what it takes.

And if he decides to resign from the pursuit, what then? Does that mean that you are not a captivating beauty? Not worth fighting for? Not at all. A man’s decision to not risk anything for you says more about him than you. It shows that he is insecure and that you would only be used as a way for him to feel better about himself.

Unfortunately, the incredible fear of ending up alone grips the heart of so many women that they are the ones that pursue. Strangely, it seems that it takes a stronger woman to wait to be pursued than to be the pursuer. And even more surprising is the stealth message it sends to a guy’s heart: “I don’t think you have the balls to come and get me…so I will come and get you.”

At first though, it sure doesn’t feel like it! It can feel great to have a woman pursue me, but later down the road, the sweetness turns bitter. I may say that I want a girl to pursue me, but that is only because I am running away from my fear. The fear that I wouldn’t have what it takes to get her in the first place. It’s just easier to allow her to come to me…and for the moment…feel like I’m a “Man.” Not till later does the truth comes out: that she is scared of not captivating anyone and ending up alone while I am terrified that I’m not enough of a man to win her heart…Thus she pursues me while I risk nothing.

And thus is the tale of how so many women end up marrying a Boy and later wonder what happened to her “man.”

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